LETTER TO SELF

Dear Self,

How’s the writing going? Oh, not writing, huh? Too busy? Life’s too crazy? Not feeling inspired? Yeah, I’ve heard all those excuses before. What’s wrong with you – haven’t you read all the motivational memes?

  • “Stop dreaming. Start doing.”
  • “Nothing gets done if you don’t show up for work.”
  • “You have to turn on the faucet to get the water flowing.”

Stop with the excuses, already! Get busy writing!

– XOXOX

 

DEAR SELF,

Thanks for the encouragement.

Can I tell you something? I am not my own. I. AM. NOT. MY. OWN. My time is not my own. My energy is not my own. My creativity is not my own…

You go right ahead and make your writing schedule – plan your three-mornings-a-week at the coffee shop – and you just hammer out that new manuscript. More power to you.

Me, I’ve got a sick teenager doubled up on the couch in pain, vomiting into a bucket. And overnight guests arriving this afternoon (cook dinner, change sheets, wipe down the upstairs bathroom…). And the day after tomorrow, I leave on a 20-hour trip to the other side of the world, where I already know I will get absolutely ZERO writing done because of the valuable NOT-writing work I will be doing there. (No, I have NOT started packing. I haven’t had any freakin’ time to pack!)

Maybe for you, SELF, writing is a matter of showing up, turning on the faucet, and putting your dreams into words. But for me, it’s a little more complicated. So, why don’t you just roll up those cute little memes you’re talking about and stuff them up your nose, okay?

– XOXOX

 

Dear Self,

No need to be hating all over me – I was just trying to help! Geeze…forget I even said anything.
:/

 

DEAR SELF,

Can I tell you something? There are three things that I KNOW are true:

  • God is sovereign.
  • God is good.
  • And, He loves me very much.

These three things are true not just as they relate to my eternal soul, but they are true about EVERY SINGLE TIDDLY DETAIL OF MY LIFE. Including my writing.

God knows that I want to write. He knows that I feel sad when I cannot write. He knows that sometimes, I feel like I am going to smother under the weight of the unwritten words inside my head. But God is not all about giving me the thing I want right now (to write!) – He is all about teaching me to trust Him, and all about conforming me to Jesus.

So, about writing…I will continue to pray for opportunities and freedom and inspiration to write; and, as God provides those things, I will say “Thank you!” and I will delight in them. But, when God withholds those things, I will delight simply in God himself, and I will trust his timing and his good purposes for me, and I will endeavor to be content. Because, I know that God is sovereign, He is good, and He loves me so very, very much.

Sorry I snapped. Will you forgive me?

So, SELF, how is YOUR writing going?

– XOXOX

 

Dear Self,

Well…Jesus!

 

DEAR SELF,

Yeah, that’s what I was thinking, too. 🙂

Love you.

– XOXOX

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